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Taking Self-Doubt to Courage

A personal story about self-doubt, courage and trusting a vision.

I’ve taught indoor cycling for twelve years. A sincere passion in my life.

For the first nine years, I taught registration-based cycling courses college students could take for one credit hour.

An instructor's dream: always a full class and guaranteed attendees.

Despite rave course evaluations and near obsession with making perfect playlists, I avoided teaching cycling on the drop-in schedule (like most gyms have).

I made excuses when people asked:

  • "Another class wouldn't fit my schedule."

  • "It would interfere with my credit-based class."

  • "We don't need another cycling class on the schedule."

(Those of you that know my background know I made the schedules 🤦‍♀️)

The real reason? I was scared no one would come.

A fear that was gleefully absent for the registration courses and for a heart so invested in the product. When I thought about doing drop-in, my mind was a reel of self-doubt on repeat:

  • “What if I put myself on the schedule and no one comes?”

  • “What if they talk about me in the locker room?”

  • “What if they don’t like my coaching?”

  • “What if they think I'm a bad instructor and never come again?”

My reckoning came when I fatigued of teaching the academic format and the extra responsibilities tied to it. It was inevitable: if I wanted to keep teaching cycling, I would need to teach on the drop-in schedule.

Despite my intense desire to wriggle out of vulnerability in any way possible, a vision pulled at me: full classes, big energy, motivating music, and people working together to do hard things in order to improve their well-being.

I wanted that vision. Which meant I needed people in my class.

Which meant for others to show up, I had to show up.

I made a scary, but necessary decision to commit to teaching once per week with my best energy…whether the room was full or empty. I made the decision to trust my vision, and more importantly, trust myself.

For weeks, I showed up with the best workouts, music, and enthusiasm I had to offer. Over time, bikes became competitive. The class started to have culture and camaraderie. There was a steady revolving door of clientele. The space had vibe. People worked their booties off. They left feeling better than they came.

What was once a vision (almost crushed by self-doubt) became a thriving reality each week.

What I learned from this courage-building experience:

  • The energy I put out is the energy that will be brought back to me.

  • I can choose to embrace that vulnerable start-up phase with courage.

  • I must give the same energy to two people that I would give 50 people.

  • For others to show up, I have to show up.

  • I can trust my visions and I can trust myself.

Why am I sharing this?

Because yet again, I'm in a space of facing a fear and trusting a vision. I've known for awhile now that showing up to my business meant speaking consistently on social media and offering virtual events like free webinars.

That same self-doubt reel threatens to go on repeat:

  • “What if no one comes?”

  • “What if people think I’m nothing special?”

  • “What if I say the wrong thing?”

  • “What if people reject my ideas and insights?”

  • “What if I have some glaring flaw everyone else can see except me?”

But just like with cycling, a vision pulls at me: a community of people working to improve their career and leadership skills, to pursue what is most meaningful to them, and to engage in the hard things that make life, work and leadership better.

I invite you to join me in building my new space: free live events for my business.

First, I'm beginning a LinkedIn Live Series. Your first opportunity is Thursday, Feb. 24th at 12pm MST via LinkedIn Live.

I'm calling the show "Do you got a minute?" after years of being asked this (wonderful) question by friends and colleagues. Each episode will feature real questions I'm often asked while coaching clients and leading trainings.

Second, I'm committing to consistent free webinars throughout the year. You can join me for my first one of 2022: “3 Sly Energy Swipers That Fuel Burnout” on Thursday, March 3rd at 12:00pm MST.

I'll be there, whether two people or 50 people, bringing you my best energy.

See you soon!




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